Longing

Being an adopted child I grew up longing to know where I came from.  I knew my adoptive parents, and they are great people but the curiosity of wanting to know my birth mother and father was always in the back of my mind.  I was always seeking acceptance

Making the wrong friends in Junior High and High School seemed to be easy for me.  I clung to those who were unpleasant and lost because I could relate, I was one of them.  I was always seeking identity.

I partied as often as possible for a young man and did all the things that are commonly related (drugs, sex, drinking). It was the simplest way I knew to numb the pain of my reality. Life didn't need to make sense if I was hooking-up, black-out drunk, or so high that I couldn't move.  I was always seeking meaning.

I sought purpose, meaning, love, and identity in all of the wrong places.  Subconsciously I longed for something far greater than the life I was living.  Physically, I was happy with my worldly living because I was untouchable. That was, until, God worked in my life and changed everything.

 I attribute my "turn-around" to a combination of things:
     First, loss.  I believe God didn't take these particular people from me.  I think that in the world we live in today we have free will and because of this we make choices that God allows to happen.  Fair or unfair, harmless or painful, safe or dangerous.  So when someone decides to mix drinking and driving and kills a 16 year old girl, whether it was her time or not He used that experience in my life as an awakening.
     Second, people.  Good people can make a change, though some may never live to see the result.  Sadly this is the case in my story.  I thank those who are alive for the difference they made in my life.  Whether it was being nice, building me up, offering advice, or smiling through such physical or emotional hardship.  Those who are gone have a special place in my heart and I pray that they knew the effect they had on me.  People took an interest in my life and reached out to me even when I was cruel, mean, and figuratively spat in their faces. Remind you of anyone?
     Lastly, God himself.  As I mentioned before, God is very active in the world today.  Atheist, agnostic, christian, catholic, (insert denomination/religion), or not He is very much alive and working.  Last semester at school God revealed himself to me and a friend of mine on a very special night, not physically but he showed us something miraculous during a trying time.  Growing up people told me believing in a creator was weakness and the reason God existed was to strike fear into the hearts of man and then give them hope so they would comply. In essence making it all a ploy to encourage people to live morally "appropriate" lives.  I believed this for a while and lived my life around the principle that I wasn't afraid.  But without God or Christ I had no hope, and that is a scary thought. Anyway, I witnessed God working, he worked in the life of my family.  He didn't fix everything, matter of fact I'd almost say they got worse by the worlds standards, for my family and I it was just the wake-up call.

I found acceptance: Within the family of God even with all of my faults, sins, and baggage.

I found identity: I am Mikey Tribbie, adopted son of Mike & Pam Tribbie, Christian and child of the greatest father of all.

I found meaning: I am to share my experiences and my story to those who are where I was, those riding the fence of a worldly life and a godly life, and  those who are in a dark place and see no light.
My purpose is to be a light on the hill, just a glimmer of what Jesus Christ shines like.

I titled this longing because I sought and yearned for purpose, identity, acceptance, and love.  I no longer yearn or long for these things, however, I yearn for God and to live a Godly life.  What are you longing for?  Leave me some feedback, this is my first blog.